Note from the Editor: The Juno results are in and, as usual, embarassing.

Yay! Nickelback. It's really great to see this brilliant band finally get it's dues. They've been toiling for years making challenging, creative music that goes against the grain, and finally this year they get the nod. The most prestigious awards show in the country (if not the world), the Juno's, saw fit to bestow the young Mr. Kroeger and friends with 3 awards. Bravo folks! The world is changing, music from the heart is back! Cough.

Here you go Canada! You're musical representation!

Enough of that nonsense. We're all aware that Nickelback, and the Junos are jokes. But the kind of jokes that seriously miss their mark. They're the Martin Lawrence of musical jokes. So, no one was very surprised when picking up the paper, or listening to the news yesterday, they heard about the 3 awards (I don't imagine anyone watched it?).

Back in February (remember February? Cold), I wrote about my personal feelings about the Junos, which you can read here if you're interested. In that article I made a small list of acts I personally thought was deserving of an award, so I thought today I could compare and see if anyone in the industry has an eye for actual talent... It doesn't look good.


Crystal Castles
Plants and Animals

and the winner is..... The Stills!! The most boring band on Arts and Crafts. That maybe a bit harsh, Arts and Crafts happens to be a pretty great label, so being the most boring band on it is like being the most exciting band on, say, Universal. But it makes a bit of sense, they were the most commercially viable band on the list, so if that means they beat out Nickelback for best album next year, than I'm all for it.


In The Future, Black Mountain
Soft Airplane, Chad VanGaalen
Parc Avenue, Plants and Animals

And the Winner is.... The Oceans Will Rise, The stills!! Read above.


Parkdale, Elizabeth Shepherd

And the winner is... Molly Johnson!! Jesus Christ, Molly Johnson? We're still giving this gal awards? Molly is famous in Canada for making adult contemporary pop oriented jazz albums, which apparently is what the category name should be changed to.


The Soundtrack, The Creaking Tree String Quartet

And the winner is.... Nostomania DJ Brace presents The Electric Nosehair Orchestra!! I don't know who DJ Brace is. I'm listening to his music right now.... He's a DJ.... It's pretty unoffensive... and it feels a decade old, meh.


Coeur de pirate, Coeur de pirate

And the winner is.... Tous les sens Ariane Moffatt!! I don't know who that is. Listening now... you know what? I know nothing about Quebecois culture, so I have no comment. I think Coeur de Pirate has great songs, and you need the check the band out. The end.


Daniel Lanois

And the winner is.... Daniel Lanois!! This is one rare occasion where The Juno's and I both love an artist. I just thank god it wasn't Mutt Lange.

Anyways, there you have it. No one is surprised, just disappointed. I suggest we make an anti-juno's, who's with me?


Anonymous said...

i am with ya. i couldnt even watch this year. nickel back? sam roberts? stills? i dont get it. we need some kind of new awards that are actually relevent.

only one niggle tho.
molly deserves her juno. the album is a jazz album and she is a jazz great. everyone starts somewhere but that is clearly where she is now.

Cody Walker said...

I was really hoping to see the Lost fingers win something.

Shawn William Clarke said...

Thanks anonymous, and I maybe jumping the gun on Molly Johnson's album. I've yet to hear the whole thing, her stuff in general just doesn't do it for me... even her jazz stuff. But I'll have to give it a chance.

Cody, was the Lost Fingers up for something?

Anonymous said...

I feel as though they simply gave the juno to Lanois because he finally made a record that qualified for a non international juno. He's done great records, and "Here is what is" is lovely, but not his best work as a producer. That whole category was a little bothersome. kd lang is not a producer, neither is nickelback or joey moi for that matter. To me Lanois, Foster, and Stuart Brawley are the only nominees that really qualify this year.

Shawn William Clarke said...

yeah, I agree, that's a really great point. "Here is What Is" is a lovely album though, and definitely better than what it was up against.

Dave Marcotte said...

seriously, it's time for an alternative to the shitty Junos. Same could probably be said for the Grammys. When I think about it, I can't remember the last time I cared about the Grammy's either. It just seems with the Junos that since Canada is all small and pure and stuff, it should have integrity. But really, it's just the same corporate shit. We need like, a national version of the East Coast Music Awards or something.